If You Want Me to Stay

by Michael Parker

Years and years ago I took a creative writing course from Michael Parker. This was shortly before the release of his first novel, Hello Down There. Since then I’ve enjoyed watching the direction he’s taken his work, and I think If You Want Me to Stay is the best so far, a potent, sad story of a boy who is lost in the world, whose connection to the world of adults is mainly through his extensive knowledge of soul music.
Our main character, Joel Junior, received his education in soul music from his father, a man who suffers from episodic bouts of mental illness, which render him a danger to himself and his three sons. The novel starts when the father loses his grip on reality “the worst time.” Joel Junior runs away from home with his youngest brother, Tank, and is forced to come up with a plan to help the two of them survive and find their mother, who absconded a few years ago without warning, having lost patience with her husband’s madness.
We have an intimate look inside Joel Junior’s head. At first, I was apprehensive about the constant references to the music of Otis Redding, Marvin Gaye, Mavis Staples and Curtis Mayfield. The idea of giving the novel a “soundtrack” seemed gimmicky, like a writing exercise good for only a few pages at most. But Parker manages to render the way that songs worm their way into the brain so well that it never felt like the musical framework was imposed from the outside. Joel Junior uses his lexicon of soul sounds and lyrics as a guide to help understand all the most adult aspects of loneliness, hope and frustration that he encounters as he wanders through this world, and his interior arguments about the real meaning of songs like Sitting on the Dock of the Bay give us a sense of his intelligence that it would be hard to get otherwise.
We also get a feeling of Joel Junior’s intelligence from his language, which is unorthodox but never sloppy. Joel Junior is the latest in a string of Michael Parker characters who is dangerously naïve and open to the world around him; unlike the other characters, Joel Junior’s mental eccentricity is built into the structure of every sentence.
I love Michael Parker’s writing best for its economy. In composing his words, he leaves little to chance. But like any good magician, Parker has to conceal his craft through misdirection. That’s why it works so well that Joel and Tank’s quixotic journey is littered with so many odd, understated little encounters: along their way they meet fishermen and church ladies, shop clerks and drunkards whose significance is as random as that of anyone we might meet by chance in real life, and yet in the mind of Joel Junior they all become signposts on the way to reaching an understanding of who he is, where he’s come from, and the path that his life is likely to take from here on out. By the end of the book, Michael Parker has achieved stunningly well in creating the sort of poetic landscape of memories and symbols that John Irving so desperately wanted to create for Hotel New Hampshire. The overall effect is so muted and subtle that it’s only afterward that we see the brilliance in the fact that Parker has used soul music as his compass to write a book that captures all the frightening and startling possibilities inherent in the depths of a single human soul.